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J and C are out of town, so...

I have some time to kill, or at least I can procrastinate in ways that involve typing instead of reading.


At what age were you when you first...

1. Fell in love -- If you're talking even vaguely requited love, that would be sometime during my second junior year in college. K was producer and general dogsbody for a show that I lit, and we had some things in common (and some not, as it turned out). She's now married to a horrible conservative lawyer.

2. Got a Myspace account -- A what?

3. Got drunk -- College, I think. I drank enough to get the tiniest bit tipsy at my evil grandmother's 85th birthday, but not as much as my same-age cousin, who threw up.

4. Smoked weed -- Sophomore year in college. The musical I was working on had a budget for combustibles, and we didn't spend it all on flash powder.

5. Got french kissed -- See 1.

6. Went to the hospital for surgery -- 24. I'd been working insane hours for four or five months, finished the project, felt kind of poorly. I went to the ER because I was peeing blood, and remember distinctly both the disdain of the admitting resident when he first heard my description of symptoms and the impressed "Oh, shit..." look on his face when I brought my sample back. (Yeah, something to be proud of indeed)

7. Got your heart broken badly -- Dunno. I broke it myself at the end of a longterm, longdistance relatiionship in my late 20s, when I just couldn't get it together to give up my job, my apartment and all my friends to move across country and be with the woman I loved. And then I kinda lacerated it some more by unintentionally (yeah, right) being a complete shit to the next two women I slept with.

8. Lost a pet -- 9. The dog we'd had my whole childhood died in a kennel while my parents were on a trip. I was fine until it came time to bury the ashes, and then I couldn't talk, couldn't breathe, couldn't quite cry. My parents got grave markers for all of our dogs, and took them when we moved. I wonder where they are now.

9. Got arrested -- never.

10. Smoked a cigarette -- never. Always loved the smell of pipes and cigars.

11. Broken a bone -- never. Ripped up all the ligaments in one ankle at 33.

12. Went to a concert -- Dunno. Not to a Grateful Dead concert till my 30s

13. Got your own cell phone -- 40-something

14. Got a speeding ticket -- never.

15. Run away -- Never. When I flunked out of college I went to find america on a bus, but that's somehow not the same...

16. Snuck out of the house -- 6 or so. When my father took a nap on sunday afternoons he would insist that we kids stay in the basement. We didn't.

17. Pierced other than your ears -- never. Occasional scars, no piercings.

18. Got a tattoo -- never.

19. Bought porn -- never. Same as with pot -- always relying on someone else's stash.

22. Totaled a car -- 22. Left exit to left entrance, traffic, manual transmission. Ran the car up on the guardrail and tore the guts out of it. It looked almost undamaged.

23. Moved out of your parents' house -- 23. I'd been in boarding school and college since 12, but there was always a room with my stuff. Heck, there was always a room with my stuff until my my mother died and we sold the house...

25. How old are you now? -- 48. It used to be the big dividing line was people who can remember where they were when JFK was shot, then the moon landing. Then Challenger. Now you have people of nearly the age of reason who barely remember the world trade center.

26. Had a kid -- 45. A year older than my father when I was born. A couple years younger than my greatgrandfather when my grandfather was born.

27. Got married -- 44? I really don't remember. It wasn't a milestone in our relationship the way that moving in together or buying a house or any of that stuff was.

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